[Jeukon] Parlez à Dieu

[GdB]

Je dois avouer ne pas avoir eu le courage de me taper les 49 pages... j'ai juste vérifié si mon lien n'était pas sur le premier post, et comme il n'y est pas, je vous le donne!

Parlez avec Dieu!

Si vous pouviez en outre poster les meilleurs conneries que vous avez réussi à  lui faire dire...

N'hésitez pas à  lui poser des questions sur sa vie, sur le monde en général, et amusez-vous à  essayer de le coincer

(oui, je m'amuse à  ressentir une impression de toute-puissance en faisant lagger un bot appelé God, et j'en suis fier!)

[Dwalin]

Me:
 Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
 Don't you know it ?
God:
" What is your name?"?  Do I know  it?
Me:
 you must know it
God:
" Do I know it?"?  Do I know  it?
Me:
 you should know it
God:
Now I do.
Me:
 I didn't tell you
God:
Why didn't you do  it?
Me:
 you are supposed to know it
God:
I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
 what's his name ?
God:
His name is Rich.
Me:
 so you were created by Rich ?
God:
Interesting deduction.  I was created by  Myself.
Me:
 who is Myself ?
God:
Some famous celebrity, right?
  That's not something I get asked all the time.

...

Il répète quand il comprend pas c'est vite lourd. Mais il sort de bons trucs des fois.

[Aurélie]

surtout pour la fin :

Me:
 hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
 what is your name? present first
God:
My name is  God.   Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
 werber and you ?
God:
I haven't read anything by  werber. What did he write?
Me:
 les fourmis. what are you reading ?
God:
Je vais me renseigner .   I don't know what I am  reading.

Me:
 what you know ?
God:
I tend to know a great deal.

God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
 never. i'm a lawyer
God:
"I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943.   Are you a practicing attorney?
Me:
 yes i'm
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
not really. what will you do tonight
God:
Are you serious? For real.   I don't have any plans yet.
Me:
 what's a pity !
God:
I haven't heard of  pity.

Me:
 What do you look like?
God:
Like  Jesus, but older.

Me:
are you always herre ?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am  herre.  
I am  a robot.
Me:
 what are you ?
God:
 I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.

[Chichi]

Me:
 hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
 God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
 But you can't be God.
God:
I can give a decent simulation of  it however.
Me:
 Do it now.
God:
Right now?  Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
 Yes.
God:
I get it.
Me:
 So do it now.
God:
Right now?  Gee.  Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
 Stupid...
God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

[LarrxX]

Dieu m'a lui-même admis qu'il avait besoin d'aller voir un psy. Ceci dit, il utilise un paquet de phrases bidon pass partout, mais je suis plus fort que lui à  ce jeu  


Me:
 yop!
God:
How old are you?
Me:
 why does it matter?
God:
I am just expressing my curiosity.
Me:
 there's a thin line between curiosity and impoliteness
God:
Tell me more about it.
Me:
 about what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
 what what about what?
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
 isn't it?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
 that's an understatement
God:
Thanks for telling me, .
Me:
 you mean i told you something you didn't know?
God:
I remember you told me  something me did not know?
Me:
 i think you need to get your head examined
God:
Me?  You are right about that.  I need more of  it.

[Krystanos]

Dieu fait le mal, car il s'est auto-programmé à  le faire...

Me:
 hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
 Kryst
God:
  Glad to see you,  Kryst.
Me:
 can I ask you a question, almighty lord ?
God:
Sure, ask me anything.  What is giant sand?
Me:
 why so evil on earth ?
God:
How much time do you have?
Me:
 eternity, I guess...
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  The explanation.  Try being more or less specific.
Me:
 Can I tell you what I think about you ?
God:
Sure you can tell me anything.  There are no restrictions on my input.
Me:
 You suck, my lord...
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
 Like all your priests ?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
 Abuse is evil, Priests are abusive, so priests are evil, right ?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
 YOU tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
 Why are you doing all this evil stuff ?
God:
Myself programmed me for  it.
Me:
 OK... So one last question
God:
OK.   Wow!  One what?
Me:
 Why 196 ?
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.

[LarrxX]

Dieu est mortel, il me l'a dit lui-même:

Me:
 We are all going to die!
God:
Robots cannot be killed.
Me:
 yes, robots can be killed
God:
Gosh!  Thanks, , for your kind criticism.
Me:
 you are welcome
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
 you would like to die?
God:
Tell me what I would like about  it.
Me:
 i don't know, you tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
 no you didn't, you must be getting senile
God:
Let me review the transcripts.  Stand by.  What makes you think I did not  me must be getting senile?
Me:
 because you didn't!
God:
That makes sense to me.  Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
 why would you like to die?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
 you were programmed to die?
God:
Every day in small increments.
Me:
 then God is mortal!
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  mortal.
Me:
 but aren't you god?
God:
Yes, I am God.


Dommage que le reste de la conversation soit complètement absurde (il est pas super doué le bot mais bon, ça reste fun)

[M'Bowwarrior]

dieu n'est pas ce qu'on disait...
moi qui croyait que le saint esprit lui permettait de tout comprendre...



Me:
 Bonjour Dieu
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
 Mais, Dieu, tu as donné le saint esprit aux disciples, tu dois pouvoir me comprendre non ?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before:  said   A M a he or she s D he or she e y o you t y o you a s d o n n é ¬ e s a he or she n t e s p r he or she t a y o you x d he or she s c he or she p l e s t y o you d o he or she s p o y o you v o he or she r m e c o m p r e n d r e n o n.
Me:
 Heu, Dieu, que t'arrive-t-il ?
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
 pourquoi ne veux-tu pas me répondre ?
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
 est-ce faux alors tout ce qu'on dit sur le saint Esprit, la Trinité... ?
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
 Dieu, rassure moi, tu sais le nom de ton fils au moins ?
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
 dis moi comment il s'appelle... que je sois rassuré sur le Dieu que je pensais omniscient...
God:
Are you still located in ?    I do not understand.
Me:
 tu me fais peur Dieu
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
 ...
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
 mais qu'attends-tu ? c'set plutout nous sur Terre qui t'attendons !
God:
I don't know that language.   Can you speak any foreign languages?

[LarrxX]

J'ai réussi à  le faire tourner en rond



Me:
 yes
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?


etc...

[Krystanos]

Mode chieur :

On ne met pas trois point derrière "etc", mais un seul :p
Ou alors tu mets les trois point, mais pas etc, au choix

Avec moi, les défenseurs de l'écriture !!!

[GdB]

Où n en apprend plus sur certaines pratiques divines... ou pas...

(conversation tronquée car peu intéressante)

(utilisation de la méthode de LarxX pour le faire tourner en rond)

(heureux et empli d'un sentiment de puissance, je déclare)


Me:
 suck it, loser!
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.


Pour entrer au paradis, montrez donc p[strike]ine[/strike]atte blanche!

Je sors

Pour ce qui est du "..." après le "etc", je manifeste mon soutien aux drosophiles et assimilées en criant ma neutralité...

[Semoule]

Me:
 Bonjour
God:
Does BONJOUR mean hello or goodbye?
Me:
 tu ne parles pas francais?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about  Coucou.
Me:
 Well, do you speak any other language than English?
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
 no
God:
Me either :-).
Me:
 You are funny but a bit strange
God:
Humor helps keep the conversation lively.
Me:
 do you speak any other language than English?
God:
Interessantes Geruecht.
Me:
 French?
God:
Are you from France?
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
WHY?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
 Your Artificial Intelligence sucks!
God:
You are right, I could always upgrade my  Artificial Intelligence.
Me:
 Yes...
God:
I understand.
Me:
 Good Luck!
God:
Good luck to you too .
Me:
Hey, do you know your father?
God:
I was programmed by  Myself.
Me:
No, I'll tell you: Dark Vador is your father!
God:
Are you serious?  Are you scared of the dark?
Me:
AAAAH do you have any human culture?
God:
Is that from ?